Many psychologists put jealousy as a kind of emotion for one of the leading places on the prevalence.Poets and writers in the manifestation of jealousy draw its inspiration, however, is often subjected to jealousy rather harsh criticism.Everybody remembers what ended in a fit of jealousy of Othello, the happiness they brought to him or to someone you know.How to stop jealous lover and whether to keep this passion "in line"?How to deal with jealousy and did not give her to turn her life into a nightmare?If you are worried about these questions, then it's time to really think about the fundamental changes in their lives, in other words - to take his life under complete control!And we, as always, will help you with advice and together with you will go all the way to your transfiguration!
roots and ways of eradicating jealousy ↑
jealousy - envy relative ↑
Ask yourself why you are experiencing jealousy?Is it because that someone who is in your views better than you, is seeking more attention, care and love than you do?Then we can say with certainty that jealousy - the closest relative of envy.Desperately wanting to take someone else's place and achieve the same heights, some reached this mythical "somebody", we do not notice how to turn their lives in pursuit of someone else's ideals.
Your friend friendly with a colleague at work, smiling at her during short breaks, drives up to the subway?And you immediately decide - quickly buy a stunning dress, do the same avant-garde hairstyles, to learn just to walk, swinging her hips!
But it is worth to stop, catch your breath and calmly analyze the situation as it is clear: Suit - shoddy, hairstyle - fashion was two years ago, and walk - just the top of vulgarity!Do not you think those qualities are inherent for you - maybe open look, attractive smile and charming tone of voice - are worth much more than a passing, superficial coquetry?
Hide envy deeper into the most secret corners of your soul, that she never show you their sharp horns.Remember - you are better than others, and your main advantage is that you have no one else like!Certainty of the irresistibility will give you strength to deal with jealousy, to serve as a great incentive to become better than the opponent, even imaginary.
Jealousy is the fear of being alone ↑
Remember: how you were a kid?Surrounded by affection, care, love, or, conversely, "nedolaskannym" deprived of elementary "I love you"?And in fact, and in another case it is very likely that in an adult, independent life, you become a real jealous - sheer misfortune for a loved one.In the first situation, you will always miss the displays of affection, love, and, therefore, will always seem that your loved one "spends" these feelings on someone else.In another case, a man devoid of expressions of love in childhood, feels a bit inferior, unworthy to be loved, and he, of course, will always feel that tenderness and gets the attention of someone else, because he is simply not worthy.Both cases - a classic example of the fear of being alone.
Finding the roots of jealousy in his childhood, seek help from a professional therapist, completely and permanently rid yourself of a deeper problem, alas, unlikely.If you still are determined to defeat the monster called "jealousy" alone, on their own, we advise you to resort to receive "back to the past."
Try to talk about their problems with their relatives: mother, father, with the people, among whom was your childhood and who can give you good advice, how to overcome his childhood complexes.Even if your family is not accepted to discuss their emotions and feelings, remember that you are doing this in order to further life was more peaceful and proceeded without jealousy attacks.
Warning: this method may be too emotional for especially impressionable natures, so enlist the support of a friend or a friend who can listen and support you in those moments when it is needed.
How to stop jealous lover ↑
Now let's consider the case where you already have a stable, and you think, a serious relationship with a young man.How to control myself and not be jealous of him - to colleagues, relatives, numerous friends, your favorite car?
Our recommendations are: the time, every day, remind yourself that your friend, but you have other interests."This should not be!" - I exclaimed one of my friends, when I tried to explain to her that.- "If people love each other, they need to be for each other only hobby!".
've got to say that this opinion is very widespread, and, unfortunately, very mistaken.In no event it is impossible to turn the life of another person in the meaning of his life, just as it is impossible to demand from someone that he did not see anyone else but you.Just the top of selfishness!
your young man shows you that he has other interests besides you?Fine, then let and you will have other hobbies.Remember school friends, gather together the most loved ones, meet periodically to offer a kind of hen parties.You will not believe how such a meeting can diversify your life!Exchange of knowledge and trendy culinary discoveries, discussion of the methods of raising children and men - for those conversations are countless.My girlfriend with her three best girlfriends once a month going to "The Dinner Party" turns every home.These sit-round gathering, they are prepared in advance, think through the menu, the script evening themes for discussion.Husbands and children to these partying are not allowed, which creates an atmosphere of freedom and looseness.And I must say that the husband of my friend refers to these meetings with great respect, sometimes even offering help in preparation.Needless to say, men's meetings are much more prosaic, and I suspect that he secretly envies his wife quietly!
How to get rid of jealousy justified ↑
And what if groundless jealousy?Many women faced with the change of husbands and let it often just a fleeting affair, perhaps, superfluous to recall how the knowledge that a loved one is cheating on you, hurt feelings and diminishes self-esteem.And what - to pretend that nothing happened?No way!
«silent» his awareness of his infidelity, you give freedom for new adventures, because crime is not solved, which means that it can be repeated.Arrange a "scene of jealousy" is not the best option, because men do not like them!
Try to talk to him "heart to heart" without revealing their cards and calling for frankness.What it does not like in your relationship, and that he would like to change them?Does it seem to him that your relationship is in need of new emotions, feelings?Is it time to do both take a vacation and go to the sea?Change of pace - a great way out.Your choice will be away from the opponent, and you're on vacation can be brought before him in the most advantageous light, then at home, you see, is more difficult to achieve.
not jealous of the past ↑
Another very common mistake is jealous of youthful, student hobbies.Well, think - whether to be jealous of what it once was, and someone, if now, today, with your loved one next to it is you and not from a parallel class she asks?Moreover, as experience shows, children's attachment in adulthood rarely break out with renewed vigor.People change - both externally and internally, each already have their own experience of life, which has nothing to do with the fact that it was many years ago.As one of my friends, there is no greater shock than met his first bunny in twenty years.So is it worth it to be jealous?
In small doses, jealousy can even be considered useful for a variety of feelings, revitalizing lifestyle.A little grumbling to a loved one, it too much to pay attention to a pretty girlfriend at a party, you are once again reminded him that he is still interesting for female, attractive in women's eyes.Even if outwardly it looks like jealousy, no doubt, it's flattering to hear the men, because they are so in need of compliments!And you will be able to hold their true zeal and prevent it from breaking free, without a doubt it will be a real victory!something to talk about with a guy at a meeting, how to get rid of jealousy for her husband, the menu for a romantic dinner, how to arrange an unforgettable evening favorite,